Butter up. Last week, I reported that Maxim magazine got butter in its eye and named Paula “It’s a party, y’all” Deen its hottest female TV chef. This week, Huffington Post reported that the Paula Deen Store (that’s like a Wal-Mart with butter in every aisle) has butter flavored lip balm and other flavors too, including peach cobbler, pecan pie, pumpkin pie, key lime pie and banana pudding. I’ve ordered some. Anyone want to eat my lips off?
Think pink. October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I am sending love out to my friends who are battling this beast. I’m sure you probably know someone too. But I was a little shocked to read in USA Today of the surprising decision many women are making of choosing a “preventative mastectomy.” Um, men get testicular cancer too, but I’m keeping the jewels until I’m told they are seriously cracked.
Icky poo. You know those plastic bags that millions of people use daily to scoop their dogs’ poops? Well, according to the AP, the Dutch national railway’s “Sprinter” trains have a bathroomless design. But for those who can’t hold it, they’ve introduced a plastic bag or “pee-bag,” which has a cup-shaped top and contains a highly absorbent material that turns urine into a gel-like mixture. One of the Republican candidates will surely find a use for this to help save money on Medicare in nursing homes.
Question of the week: Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know there is not enough money in the account?!
Quote of the week: “I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” — Marilyn Monroe
Paraprosdokian of the week: I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lime, and a shot of tequila.
Now, carve your pumpkin and eat your dinner.
