Dinner Party Talk – For your weekend

What?!

IT’S BEEN A WEEK OF CRAZY!
Psychological issues.
Jared Lee Loughner, the Arizona crazy who pleaded not guilty to 49 counts of murder and attempted assassination, has been ordered to undergo a month-long psychological examination to decide whether he can be considered sane. Um, how about we save ourselves some money and just say, he’s a few peas short of a casserole. See how easy that was?
More crazy… Charlie Sheen was out and about this week. He’s still #winning! He appeared on Jimmy Kimmel to toss out a few t-shirts and kiss Jimmy on the lips, declaring it “moist.” Um, Jimmy call your doctor and tell him you have “Goddess residue.”
Crazy must be contagious… Florida pastor Terry Jones, who halted plans to burn the Quran on 9/11, decided March was a good time. According to USA Today, after a 6-hour trial at his church, in which he served as judge, he and 12 church member jurors, decided the Quran was guilty of something, so they soaked it in Kerosene for an hour and set it ablaze. Results? A few clowns short of a circus.
Maybe it’s just Florida. Did you hear about 92-year-old Helen Staudinger of Ocala, Florida, who is being held on an aggravated assault with a deadly weapon charge? Yep, when she knocked on 53-year-old neighbor Dwight Bettner’s door and asked to borrow a kiss, he refused. So, she marched back to her house, got her gun, and came back over to Dwight’s and fired four shots, one missing him by inches. Dwight, what are you crazy? Just kiss her!
Oochie coochie crazy. Scranton, PA police say Karin Mackaliunas was in a motor vehicle crash and was arrested when three bags of heroin was found in her coat. But wait! There’s more! According to AOL News, when officers noticed she was “fidgeting” in the backseat, Karin confessed she had a “few things inside her.” The strip search yielded 54 bags of heroin, 31 plastic baggies, 8.5 prescription pills and $51.22, all of which she had stuffed in her, um, hot pocket.
Higher education. You’ll be glad to know that New York University arts professor Wafaa Bilal has successfully had a camera surgically removed from the back of his skull. According to the Chronicle of Higher Education, Professor Bilal believes that communication devices will be a routine part of our bodies in the future, so he decided to be a-head of his time. In November, he had a camera mounted to the back of his skull on titanium posts to record, at 60-second intervals, all the places he had left behind. Okay, now I’m an art critic: he’s crazy too.
Now, eat your dinner!

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