Dinner Party Talk – For your weekend

Fat Cats. All this talk about doing away with the rights of employees to collectively negotiate for fair pay and working conditions got me thinking. Isn’t our democracy founded on the idea that we collectively bargain? The voice of each member of Congress is supposed to be representing the voices of his or her constituents. I say, skin the Fat Cats.
Icky poo! Next time your toodling about Target, pushing your shopping cart, these words will haunt you. Researchers at the University of Arizona swabbed shopping cart handles in four states looking for bacterial contamination. Um. Hold onto your stomach. Fecal bacteria was found on 72% of them and e. coli on 50%. “That’s more than you find in a supermarket’s restroom,” lead researcher Charles Gerba said. Oh, and those reusable shopping bags? If not washed regularly, he says they are bacterial swamps. “It’s like wearing the same underwear every day.” Oh. You’re not supposed to do that?
Crack is whack. A Florida man has been arrested after a drug-sniffing dog smelled something unbuttly coming from his rear. According to NBC Miami, Clarell Colbert (no known relation to Stephen) was on his bike in the middle of the street and obstructing traffic. After getting “very loud,” a police dog was called in and sniffed around. What the pooch turned up was a tube of crack tucked in the man’s crack. Good dog.
Women’s history month. Good news: Women are no longer men’s property. Women can vote. Women live longer than men. Women have caught up with men in college attendance. Bad news: Women still make 75 cents on the dollar to what men make for the same work. Instead of “Take Your Daughter” to work day, how about we start Switch Roles Day? That’ll teach ‘em who’s the boss.
Speaking of women. The Icecreamists, an ice cream shop in London, has begun selling breast milk ice cream. Well, they were until two complaints from citizens concerned about… say this with a British accent… “selling edibles made from other people’s bodily fluids.” (Cheyenne Farber, The Ulster County Dairy Princess, issued a terse “no comment.”) The cream, called “Baby Gaga,” has been taken off the market so it can be tested for viruses, like hepatitis, which can be passed through breast milk. Yummy. I think I’ll just stick to licking shopping cart handles.
Eye see. Once spring comes I’ll be into cycling, but for now, I’m into recycling. You have old pairs of glasses? Neweyesfortheneedy.com has been accepting glasses in any condition and distributing them to people in developing nations since 1932. It’s easy: put them in a padded envelope and mail to the address on the site. There’s your first spring cleaning tip, you hoarder.
Now, eat your dinner.