Dinner Party Talk – For your weekend

What?!

Grammy Whammy. Lady Gaga arrived in an alien egg; Justin Bieber took home a goose egg; and Christina Aguilera fell and was egged by critics. I’m gaga for Gaga, happy to say I don’t have Bieber fever, and I feel real bad for Christina. First, she makes up new words for the National Anthem at the Superbowl and then she falls down at the Grammys. I think America owes her an apology. Why should a talent like that have people take pleasure in her fails? Shame on you, schadenfreuders!
That bitch won! The 135th annual Westminster Dog Show picked its winner and she’s the fittingly named Grand Champion Foxcliffe Hickory Wind. “Hickory” (to her friends) is a Scottish Deerhound, and she, like others in her breed, does not fetch nor play tug nor protect your family. But for dog that looks good and loves to run, she’s Best in Show.
Bad nanny. According to the Daily News, not so super nanny Annaliese Brucato was arrested and charged with assault and endangering the welfare of a child for forcing antihistamine into a 4 ½ month old girl. She was caught by surveillance cameras set up by the little girl’s parents. Attention babysitters: we are watching you.
Bad Tiger! If paying a gazillion dollars in his divorce settlement wasn’t bad enough, disgraced golfer Tiger Woods now has to pay a “hefty fine” for hocking up a loogie on the course of the Dubai Desert Classic. Tiger apologized via Twitter: “It was inconsiderate to spit like that and I know better. Just wasn’t thinking and want to say I’m sorry.” Um, just wasn’t thinking? Bet he’s said that before.
Trend watch. I’m heading to California soon, so thought I’d check out the latest West Coast fads. According to the LA Times, the rage is a vaginal steam bath. Based on an old Korean health treatment, nude women are paying $50 to squat on open-seated stools while a pungent brew of mugwort tea and herbs from a boiling pot below steam cleans the hoo-ha. Supposedly, this reduces stress, fights infection, regulates menstrual cycles, and aids fertility. I called. They don’t do men.
Dora the XXXplorer. Did you hear about the mother in Queens who bought her two young sons the Nickelodeon All-Star Sports Day DVD at Toys “R” Us? Yep, she sat down with her sons to watch Dora the Explorer and her pal Diego do their thing and instead got an eyeful of Hush Hush Entertainment’s Bubble Butt Bonanza No. 17. I could ask how’d that video get in there, but instead, I’ll ask, why does nothing like that ever happen to me?!
Now, eat your dinner.

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