Dinner Party Talk – For the weekend


Enough already. World famous groundhog Punxsutawney Phil peaked out from his winter slumber this week to make his 125th annual weather prognostication. And it is: no shadow!!! (Translation: spring comes early.) He better be right.
Another forecast. This week marks the beginning of the Chinese New Year, and if you believe the Chinese, this year will be one of peace and prosperity. It’s the Year of the Rabbit. According to the Chinese, it will hop in with a more placid time after last year’s ferocious Year of the Tiger.
Speaking of Egypt… Did you know the Egyptians invented eyeliner, toothpaste, toilet seats, and cement? Oh, and contraception…they used crocodile dung. Don’t believe me? Look it up!
Speaking of reptiles… A New Jersey man is in critical condition after being bitten by an albino monacled cobra, which he bought as a pet in Pennsylvania along with a rattlesnake and a copperhead. He says he thought the venom sacs had been removed. Um, all I can say is, moron.
The other Olsen girl. I just returned from Sundance where I must say I enjoyed skiing more than the movies. But there were a few standouts. Vera Farmiga premiered her Ulster County shot film, Higher Ground, and it was really good. But my favorite performance was “other Olsen,” sister Elizabeth, in Silent House. I was chilled to the bone.
Sophie’s Choice. In a recent AP poll, if they had to choose between the two, 14 percent of Americans would pick their pet over their spouse. Talk amongst yourselves.
2nd dumbest idea ever. NY State Senator Carl Kruger is proposing a ban on talking on your cell phone or listening to an iPod while crossing the street. He says the bill and $100 fine is necessary because of the rising number of pedestrian accidents. Hold on, I’m at a corner. Let me call you back.
Dumbest idea ever. A German man just won a $32,000 Mini-Cooper by having the word “Mini” tattooed on his winkie. He said he’ll forget all about it when he’s sitting in his new car. Couldn’t he have just tried his luck on the Price is Right?
Laugh line. Sign outside the Baptist Church in Poughkeepsie: “Whoever has been praying for snow, please stop!”

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