American Fun – Datemypet.com

Must Love Dogs, a movie and a way of life for some singles.

If you’ve seen Must Love Dogs with Diane Lane and John Cusack, you’ll know what I’m talking about here. Datemypet.com, despite its kinda misleading name, is an online dating site for pet lovers, not for the pets themselves. Think Okcupid.com or Match.com, but specifically for singles with pets. The site also has sections for dating and pet advice and advice for couples who have pets. But my advice: love your pets, but, um, make sure you have enough else in common besides your mutual love of pets to keep a relationship going.

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Travel – Dead Apple Tours

You don't have to be dead to ride in a hearse.

Why on earth would anyone want to see New York City in one of those giant tour buses with no tops (those things are freezing in the winter), when you can experience the city from the back of a hearse? Dead Apple Tours takes the curious and the oddly macabre on a tour of Big Apple’s greatest death sites. For $45, you’ll see where James Monroe, the fifth president of the United States, spent the last few days of his life, and where mobster Crazy Joe Gallo ate his last plate of pasta. If you’re coming to NYC, this is the way to go. After all, it may be the only time you’ll ride in a hearse and not be dead. Hey, I might see if the hearse is available for my annual Christmas limo ride to see the lights! That’ll spook ’em at Bergdorf.

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Household tips – Remote control pillow

Looking for that special gift for the friend who has everything? Well, I bet they don’t have this! It’s Brookstone’s Remote Control Pillow. Here to solve a need you didn’t know you had! Oh, wait, it promises you’ll never lose the remote again or get it lost in the cushions. Because it is the cushion! Yep, relax, get comfy—and control six home theater components at once with Brookstone’s pillow and remote in one! They promise it’s a real conversation starter. Um, I agree, because I imagine the moment you put your head down on it your TV channel changes, the volume skyrockets, and the argument begins about how you missed the finale of Dancing with the Stars. At $29.95, I’d call it an expensive gag gift. A perfect reason to warn you: Christmas is 40 days away!

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Gossip! – Gwyneth Paltrow does Glee

Gwyn guest stars on Tuesday's Glee when she fills in as a sub for Mr. Schuester.

Gwyneth Paltrow doing Cee Lo’s “Forget You” this week on Glee is, as NY Mag puts it, “undeniably great.” After last week’s awesome all-guy rendition of “Teenage Dream” (which is now a huuuuge You Tube sensation-over 1.5 million views!), it looks like season two might be better than we expected after a few lackluster, plotless earlier episodes. I love me some Lea Michelle, but it’s great to see somebody other than Rachel Barry hogging the Glee spotlight. You go Gwyn! And I hear you’re working on a new book, “My Father’s Daughter,” with recipes and tales of growing up as Bruce Paltrow’s daughter. Cheers to that!

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American Hype – Social Media Sobriety Test

Beware of drunk Facebookers.

I hope your weekend was nice. In case you haven’t noticed, intoxicated social media posting is an epidemic. (And I don’t mean a few misspelled words or repeating letters!) Webroot, an Internet security company, will now protect you and your loved ones from the dangers of drunk posting by forcing you to take a social media sobriety test before logging on to Facebook. At first, I wasn’t sure if this was for real. But it looks like it. The best part is that if the program determines that you’re not in the right frame of mind to post, it’ll do it for you with a friendly “Jack is too drunk to post right now!” Classy.

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Dinner Party Talk – For your weekend

Get those tongues waggin'. It's the weekend!

Trade in. A Florida woman was charged this week with trying to sell her 8-week-old son so she could buy a new car. The baby’s grandma brokered the deal, initially demanding $75,000, but cut the price to $30,000 when the prospective buyer couldn’t get a bank loan. Hey, it’s the economy stupid!
Speaking of which, George W. Bush’s new book, “Decision Points,” is out. In it, he details how he made his decision to be pro-life and “bonded” with his mother, Barbara, when she showed him her miscarried fetus in a jar. That is freaky weird?!
Think that’s weird?! In Alabama, sex toys are technically illegal. (They’re trying to outdo my home state of South Carolina where it’s against the law for anyone under 18 to play pinball!) Any-who, “Pleasures” just opened in Huntsville, Alabama and is the country’s first sex-toy drive-thru! Yep, drive-thru. I’d like that super-sized, please!
Speaking of which, The Parents Television Council, the conservative group who spends an unnatural amount of time watching TV and then complaining about it, has done a study of TV curse words, so we know the most popular. Well, no surprise, the f-bomb is #1 and gets the most bleepin! But let’s be frank, when you need a good I-just-ran-into-a-parked-car word, it is immensely satisfying. It’s apparently also great when your Jersey Shore cast mate throws up in your bed. By the way, old-fashioned swear words like “bastard” and “damn” are apparently passé. Well, poop!
Hang up. Ulster County Dairy Princess Cheyenne Farber doesn’t just know cows; she has a great technique on dealing with annoying sales calls. When she answers the phone and realizes it’s an unsolicited solicitation, she immediately goes into her child voice and says, “I’m 8.” When they ask to speak to her parents, she adds, “And I’m an orphan.” Try it! Or try my technique: I answer and whisper, “I’m robbing this house. No one else is here right now. Bye!”
Now, eat your dinner!

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Pet fun – Poodles working out

I’m not exactly sure what to say about this, except that it messed with my head and you must watch it. It’s a poodle exercise video for humans. Apparently, it’s a word-for-word parody of Susan Powter’s first workout video made by Nagi Noda for Panasonic and the 2004 Athens Olympics. I think you’ll find it poodle-icious.

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American icons – Marilyn Monroe stuffing

This week Ted Lee and Dan Lee stepped into the kitchen to make Marilyn Monroe’s stuffing recipe for the New York Times. They found the recipe in the new book “Fragments”– a collection of Marilyn’s scribblings, mostly when she was at the height of her fame and married to Arthur Miller. In it, there’s her recipe for stuffing jotted on stationery with a letterhead from City Title Insurance company. The results of the Lee’s foray into Marilyn’s cooking? Though they report her stuffing is laborious (“Did Marilyn have that much time on her hands?”) They say it is “delicious,” even “heroic.” Have a look at their fascinating piece! My bet is that Marilyn’s stuffing will marry many a turkey this Thanksgiving. (No offense to James, Joe, or Arthur.)

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Holidays – Veteran’s Day

On the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918 a temporary cessation of hostilities was declared between the Allied nations and Germany in the First World War. The following year President Woodrow Wilson declared we’d recognize the day and those who served America “both because of the thing from which it has freed us and because of the opportunity it has given America to show her sympathy with peace and justice…” May peace and justice prevail – everywhere and to ALL people.
Today, we salute all those who have served to make the rest of us free.

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What I’m Doing – USC feature on Bruce

If you’ve been following along, you know I’m from South Carolina, the first state to secede from the Union and home of the fighting Gamecocks. Nothing makes me happier than having this nice profile of me by USC’s Department of Journalism.
I’m reminded of a quote by Christian Morganstern: “Home is not where you live, but where they understand you.”

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