Dinner Party Talk – “Oops” for your weekend

Oops. Let’s just call it the word of the week.
Fall cleanup. No, I’m not talking leaves. I’m talking political signs. They aren’t pretty. We don’t want to see you anymore. So, if your name is out there, get off the couch and go clean them up. Then, winners get to work. Losers get to a bar.
Black midnight… The economy is so tough retailers are trying something new. Many stores will open on Thanksgiving at midnight. This new “Black Midnight” has cranked “Black Friday” up a notch. Great. Now salespeople, full on turkey tryptophan, will be even more unhelpful.
Attention Aliens: We don’t know you. The White House this week issued a statement saying there is no evidence that aliens have attempted to contact earth – or that they even exist. But “we’re looking!” The answer came after petitions were submitted through “We the People,” a White House initiative that promises a White House response to any petition that can garner 5,000 signatures in 30 days. That makes me want to start a petition, real bad!
20 kids. So, the fertile reality star Michelle Duggar proudly proclaimed this week “Jim Bob and I are excited to announce that we’re pregnant with baby number 20.” I have three questions. #1. How does she keep her insides from falling out? #2. How do Jim Bob and Michelle have time to do the naughty, when they have 19 kids running around? And #3, I’d like to ask Joshua, Jana, John-David, Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joseph, Josiah, Joy-Anna, Jedidiah, Jeremiah, Jason, James, Justin, Jackson, Johannah, Jennifer, Jordyn-Grace and Josie: Do you feel like J-erks?
Speaking of games… Have you heard about “RandomActsofPizza.com?” Well, it’s an online pay-it-forward type charity that facilitates the sending of pizzas between strangers. The mission is to “restore faith in humanity, one slice at a time.” Basically, you can send a pizza to a person in need or give a pizza to the person who, say, drives a green hybrid. It seems a lot more fun than “Intact America.”
Oh, poop! Environmental activists are attempting to get Nepalese officials to install portable bathroom facilities at the summit of Mount Everest. Seems that climbers have left a mountain of, um, evidence up there and, instead of going away, it’s piling up. I now have a dream… to sit and read a magazine at the top of the world.
Blonde joke of the week: A blonde is walking down the street and her friend says, “Look, a dead bird! The blonde looks up and says, “Where?”
Paraprosdokian of the week (for Herman Cain): Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of every successful man is usually another woman.
Now, eat your dinner.

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