Strangers on a Train

Actual overheard subway ride conversation.

New Yorkers are forced to get along. We’re often squeezed into tight spots with too many people, particularly on the subway. On my ride this morning, a large woman tried to wedge herself into a spot too small for her cheeks. The skinny woman she sits on is not happy and barked, “Don’t sit on me!” Cheeky barked back: “I paid my fare, b*tch! I’m sitting down.” Accusations about body mass, sweat, and smell flew back and forth as the rest of New York went about our business. The um, ladies, settled their dispute when the skinnier woman got up to depart, turned to her foe and sweetly said, “Have a nice day.” As Cindy Adams would say (had she not mysteriously disappeared without explanation from the New York Post): “Only in New York, kids, only in New York.”

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