Summer arrives. Well, we begged for it and, as sure as the dawn, summer finally decided to show up. It’s time to light those grills, swat those mosquitoes, and complain for three months about how hot it is. Get outside this weekend! And, as my grandfather always said, may your summer be as hot and fun as a June bride.
Old heroes die hard. Have you heard about the group of Japanese senior citizens who are volunteering to defuse one of the most horrific nuclear disasters in history? The 250-members of the Skilled Veterans Corps, composed only of retirees age 60 and up, say they should do it since the cells of an older person’s body divide more slowly than a younger person. “We have to work instead of them,” said 72-year-old Yasuteru Yamada, referring to the estimated 1,000 workers at the crippled Fukushima nuclear plant. “Elders have less sensitivity to radiation. Therefore, we have to work.”
Move over Botox Mom… There’s a new bad girl in town. This week BBC3’s “Misbehaving Mums To Be” featured Charlie Wilcox, a 20-year-old woman who said that smoking 3500 cigarettes while pregnant made her baby stronger. Mommysdirtylittlesecret.com features the story and Charlie’s confession: “I love smoking. I love just having that something there to do. Roll a fag. Smoke the fag. Watch TV. Have another fag. You’re constantly doing something, so it makes it like a hobby.” A hobby? Cutting off her unborn baby’s oxygen supply? Oh that? That, she explains, made little Lilly’s heart work harder, which will make her healthier in the long run. Emissions sniffing, anyone?
Cops are on to…in you. We’ve discussed here before the many ways people get caught smuggling contraband. It’s been found in stuffed animals, up the hiney, packed in a prosthetic leg, but there seems to be a rash of inside the vajayjay (I’m already missing Oprah!) Apparently cops nationwide are officially aware that women are sneaky snatchers. Last week a woman in Iowa got pulled over for driving drunk, hotboxing her car, and oh, having a stash of marijuana up her hootenanny. I’ve just realized hotboxing has a whole new meaning.
True romance. Kim Kardashian, who is famous for being Kim Kardashian, was given a $2 million 20.5-carat engagement ring this week by basketball star Kris Humphries. He told People magazine that it’s engraved with two Bible verses: one, “about the perfect godly woman,” and the other “about love.” He also said it took him a few days to pick out the perfect ones and sought guidance from Kardashian’s publicist Jonathan Cheban. A true romantic!
Locked up Lindsay. “Troubled actress” Lindsay Lohan is spending her 35 days of house arrest at her beach side home in California. Though not allowed to leave the “interior premises,” she’s been photographed welcoming friends and sitting in the sun on the roof, smoking electronic cigarettes, and reading a script. Why can’t I have 35 days of house arrest? That sounds lovely. I’d be happy with 35 minutes to read a magazine.
HaHa! Comic Sans walked into a bar. Barkeep tells him, “Sorry, we don’t serve your type.”
Now, light that grill and eat your dinner!
