Dinner Party Talk – For your weekend

Dead! Well, you, me and the rest of the world are talking about one thing this week: The Terrorist who got a shot to his head and now he’s dead. As I write, the White House is considering the release of the “official photo.” Let me just say, all I need to know is I am thankful for (and happy I am not) a Navy Seal.
Speaking of Seals… Conspiracy theories are running wild… Like how did Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson find out the news before anyone else? At 10:24 p.m. ET, he tweeted, “Just got word that will shock the world – Land of the free… home of the brave … PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN!” That’s 45 minutes before media outlets starting reporting it. Could he be workout BFFs with a Seal?
Happy teacher. On 9/11 Seattle teacher Gary Weddle vowed not to touch his hairy chinny-chin-chin until The Terrorist was brought to justice. Upon hearing this week’s news out of Pakistan, Hairy Gary cried for 3 minutes and then ran to the bathroom and hacked the skanky thing off. My favorite Hairy Gary quote: “I had not anticipated 10 years. I should have given up watermelon.”
Royalty. If The Terrorist was not currently at the bottom of the ocean, we might still be talking Royalty. The marriage of the century moment was this week too. ‘Memba that? Beautiful dress. Gorgeous day. Open carriage. My favorite advice to the future King and Queen was by the priest: “Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.” We should all follow that advice.
Adult baby. This week thanks to National Geographic’s show Taboo, the world met 29-year-old Stanley, a man that goes to work in regular clothes, but returns home, puts on his diaper, sucks on a pacifier, sleeps in a crib, and is tended to by his roommate (pretend Mother). He has “paraphilic infantilism.” Who knew there was such a thing? Well, there is. And now my eyes can not unsee DailyDiapers.com, the internet community for Adult Babies, Diaper Lovers,… To each his own, but I will say, “I want my Mommy!”
Speaking of Mommy’s… Mother’s Day. May 8. The Ulster County Dairy Princess is assuredly giving her mother a cow. How ‘bout you? Don’t forget your Mama, even though one day she might forget you. Seriously. My friend’s Alzheimer grandma recently told her: “I don’t remember you, but I think you’ve gained weight.”
Now, eat your dinner!