Get those tongues waggin'. It's the weekend!
Speaking of which, George W. Bush’s new book, “Decision Points,” is out. In it, he details how he made his decision to be pro-life and “bonded” with his mother, Barbara, when she showed him her miscarried fetus in a jar. That is freaky weird?!
Think that’s weird?! In Alabama, sex toys are technically illegal. (They’re trying to outdo my home state of South Carolina where it’s against the law for anyone under 18 to play pinball!) Any-who, “Pleasures” just opened in Huntsville, Alabama and is the country’s first sex-toy drive-thru! Yep, drive-thru. I’d like that super-sized, please!
Speaking of which, The Parents Television Council, the conservative group who spends an unnatural amount of time watching TV and then complaining about it, has done a study of TV curse words, so we know the most popular. Well, no surprise, the f-bomb is #1 and gets the most bleepin! But let’s be frank, when you need a good I-just-ran-into-a-parked-car word, it is immensely satisfying. It’s apparently also great when your Jersey Shore cast mate throws up in your bed. By the way, old-fashioned swear words like “bastard” and “damn” are apparently passé. Well, poop!
Hang up. Ulster County Dairy Princess Cheyenne Farber doesn’t just know cows; she has a great technique on dealing with annoying sales calls. When she answers the phone and realizes it’s an unsolicited solicitation, she immediately goes into her child voice and says, “I’m 8.” When they ask to speak to her parents, she adds, “And I’m an orphan.” Try it! Or try my technique: I answer and whisper, “I’m robbing this house. No one else is here right now. Bye!”
Now, eat your dinner!
