What's on the plate this week?
Here are my spooky predictions: Old ladies in your neighborhood will still think raisins are a suitable treat. There will be at least 5 Lady Gaga meat dresses and 15 Jersey Shore variations at every party. And someone (you know who you are) will don a long black wig, mascara and lip liner waaaay outside the natural lip line, and call it “Cher.”
Here is the NY Times spooky prediction: someone will die by Halloween egging. Since 1984, egg-throwing confrontations have led to at least 24 people being wounded or killed in stabbings, shootings, beatings or accidents. That’s no yolk!
If you fear death by egg, perhaps you want to stay in and quiver. For you nice people, I’ve thought of a dozen movies that have left my knees knocking: Alien, Dawn of the Dead, Halloween (the original!), The Shining, The Exorcist, Jaws, The Changeling, Hellraiser, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Silence of the Lambs, Rosemary’s Baby, and Amityville Horror. (The last of which led to my sleeping for a week under my parent’s bed.)
Speaking of SCARY… President Obama was told this week that U.S. defense forces lost complete command and control of one-ninth of America’s nuclear arsenal last Saturday. Holy-atomic! That’s a little more discomforting than losing your remote control.
Marie Claire’s fat lip. “Should Fatties Get a Room? (Even on TV?)” was the headline of a controversial piece on the mag’s website this week in which writer Maura Kelly pondered the sitcom Mike & Molly about a couple who meets at Overeaters Anonymous. She wrote: “…I’d be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other.” And more! “I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room.” Oh-ffensive! Definitely a classless move from a classy magazine. Maura has already apologized; so don’t go egging her house.
Now, eat your dinner!
